I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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