you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
