if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
