There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
