U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
