We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
