This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
