i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
