I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
