would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize