I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
