well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He passed out mid-signature
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
