the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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