I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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