loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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