he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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