No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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