...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
