U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
