You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize