I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
