There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
