hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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