I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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