but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize