U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she smelled like a LAN party
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
