You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize