why didn't you poke me back
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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