oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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