hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
