Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
only you would photoshop your dick
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
COCAINE IS GR8
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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