They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
