Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
