Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
