There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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