Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
