Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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