i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
