I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
