I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize