Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
