I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
