Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she woke up with a sticky ear
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
