His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
