Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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