she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
