im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
