I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
