Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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