I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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