shes about as inviting as chlamydia
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
