I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
