awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
