I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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