Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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