my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
