So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize