On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
