My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
