I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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