I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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