Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
