did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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