I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have tasted many bathrooms
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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