also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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