i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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