You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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