i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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