This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
