I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize