About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Warsđ
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I get sad thinking about all the sex Iâm missing out on because of the virus
I instituted âquarantine and chillâ months ago. Itâs not like penises go soft just because theyâre working at home.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesnât want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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