two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
