I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
